Do you ever think you know what you’re doing and then mistake after mistake your confidence slowly erodes away and you think, geez, I’ve been fooling myself and everyone else. I know nothing.
My hand is raised. This happened to me, surely more than once in my life, but definitely recently when I realized that everything I was sewing for myself wasn’t working out for some reason and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, the fit was good (except when I didn’t make a muslin), the sewing impeccable (ha!) but the garment, when I looked in the mirror, wasn’t “right”.
I thought since I have a degree in fashion design, that I knew clothing, that I knew how to dress, that I knew how to express myself. When actually having a degree in fashion design meant that I knew how to construct clothing, a little about textiles and some costume history.
As a design student, I was exposed to so much design; good, bad, mainstream, wacky, cheap and very, very expensive. It was easy for me, and my classmates, to forget or confuse or just abandon our own styles and play with all the new ideas popping into our heads. This was big fun in school and even a few years following but after a while life changes and events happen. You change. You are no longer that young person with a young physique and endless energy to put into your wardrobe.
We know who we aren’t but we don’t always know who we are. This is when most of us fall into style limbo. We wear the trends, what’s in the stores, what our friends are wearing or what the people we want to be our friends are wearing. We start wearing a self-imposed uniform. We define ourselves by our new roles and dress like we think we “should”. Slowly we become unhappy. Maybe with ourselves but really it’s the clothes. So we shop, determined to find some key piece of clothing that will answer all our “problems”. Sadly most of us think our bodies are the problem and that’s why “nothing works”. This just leads to a downward cycle of not feeling good about ourselves.
Me? I kept making clothes that didn’t “work”. I would spend hours on a garment put it on, look in the mirror and think, “ug” or “don’t look, keep walking” or “it’s okay” and this is what I thought the rest of my life was going to be like. I could resign now to my fate or maybe I just needed to find that missing X for my wardrobe; the RIGHT dress, the ONE style skirt, the HOLY GRAIL of tops. I didn’t know what the missing X was so I kept buying patterns, buying clothes, checking what everyone else was sewing or pushing me to sew. I wound up sewing things that failed because I was searching for the wrong X. I started to avoid sewing clothes. I love sewing clothes but wrong item after wrong item made my love for sewing diminish fast.
And then, scrolling through my Instagram feed, which is not a daily habit, I heard about an online style class. What? Oh, that’s silly. Right? Wait….style school? Surely I know style, I have a fashion design degree and a sewing blog…I could teach style scho…..oh wait,…I don’t know style, look at me. But if I sign up I’m admitting I don’t know what I studied.* I’ll be embarrassed. Am I even worth the cost of style school? Am I being silly? Style seems so superficial. Can’t I just teach myself? Stay safe in my bubble? Why don’t I just read some books and google style advice.”
“Oh”, that voice of reason in my head said, “So all those books there? The dozen or more style books on your shelf that you’ve looked through but never finished? Those confusing books are going to teach you? And all the fashion advice blogs open in your browser? They’ve been open for months now. They’re going to teach you?”
Face the facts, we all need a coach sometimes (and I need an editor). Besides, the instructor stated right on the sign up letter that I’ve probably already spent the cost of the class on clothes I don’t wear. She’s right. I need to stop searching for false answers and start learning the real answers.
*I didn’t study style at all. I was confused. I studied, color and texture and fabric characteristics and construction techniques and what designers have done in the past. Never style. Style is not fashion.
I signed up for Stasia’s Style School. Five weeks of selfies, and other frightening, out of my comfort zone, lessons. I learned a lot. It was five weeks of confidence building, learning to “do it anyway”, learning that going out of your comfort zone is worth it. I learned the technical (colors, balance, accessories) and the emotional (feelings, confidence, acceptance) aspects of style and I learned it all with support and inspiration from my classmates. The biggest take away from Style School was I found my missing X; THE item that will save me and my wardrobe.
The X was simply a clear vision. A clear vision of who I am now, who I want to be and how other people see me. This isn’t a vision of my physical self, or what I do, but my core self. This vision, that I figured out with the help of style school, defines what clothes I put on my body, what clothes stay in my closet and which clothes are worthy of my sewing time.
I have not bought any new clothes, in fact I donated a few bags full of clothes (some I made) that did not fit into my new clearly defined sense of self, but now I have so much to wear. I’m not sure how that worked but it did. I love getting dressed in the mornings now (after I’ve woken up a bit). It takes less time than when I had more clothes. Everything fits. Every piece makes me feel like me. When I look in the mirror now I think, “yeah, that’s me, really me, the girl I was, the girl I still am, the creative, confident, relaxed women I was sure I was deep down but haven’t seen in such a long time” As Stasia puts it, “I can run faster and jump higher.”
Style School was an amazing process; a game changer for sure. I know it will help with my sewing as much as it has already helped my confidence. I will not waste time sewing patterns or fabrics that are not me. I will not waste money buying patterns or fabric (or clothing) that is not me. Now that I know who me is. The more garments I sew which work for me the better I will feel about my sewing and the more motivated I will be to sew. It’s an upward, happy, sewing, cycle which could go on and on and on.
Class has ended but not the learning because life will keep throwing things at us. People will change, have different priorities, different lifestyles and different financial circumstances. So that me that has been pinned down and defined will need to be reexamined from time to time; the definition tweaked or changed. This is a lifelong practice and I am so glad I’ve started it. (And I’ll still have the support and the camaraderie of my Style School classmates as we are now in a Style School Alumni Facebook group.)
Stasia’s Style School isn’t just about style. That’s just the box the class comes in. It’s about knowing yourself, loving yourself as you are now and expressing it to the world, proudly, joyfully and clearly.
As you may notice from my photos I do stand taller, feel more relaxed, and smile broader as the weeks went on. These pictures show the outfits that worked but, believe me there were a few days that I’m labeling a learning experience.
This is legit. It’s a class. It takes commitment. You will get out of it what you put into it and you deserve to put some time into yourself.
If you are interested in enrolling in Stasia’s Style School go to her site and find out all the details. My review was completely unsolicited and based on my experience. If this was Amazon I’d give Stasia’s Style School 5 stars.
Recently Stasia did an interview on the Power of Words. You can watch it here.